Affair Prevention for Engaged and Young Married Couples
D. Charles Williams, Ph.D. (4/28/17)
Bob and June started dating in college and had been married for two years. Bob had a contracting business and June worked for the city under an older high ranking city official. As young professionals, they were each spending long hours at their jobs trying to build their careers and a life together. Gradually June started becoming more critical of Bob and seemed dissatisfied with their marriage. She was the kind of person who was easily impressed by status, and tended to gravitate to the next best thing even when dating in college. Eventually June suggested they separate to “think things out” and have some “space.” Not long afterwards, they divorced. Her older boss later left his wife to be with June.
There is a formidable threat facing our engaged and young married couples today. Affairs are occurring in these relationships with more frequency than ever before. Helen E. Fisher, research professor of anthropology at Rutgers and the author of several books on the biological and evolutionary basis of love and sex, has identified this emerging trend in her studies.
The divorce rate for couples during the first year of marriage has always been higher than those who have been married longer. This has historically been attributed to factors such as being too young, immaturity and not knowing each other well enough before marriage. In addition to not being prepared for marriage, infidelity has become an emerging reason young couples are divorcing sooner. The opportunity for having clandestine involvement with others has increased today with the advent of the internet, personal electronic devices and dual career couples.
Workplace affairs and mate poaching affairs are common types of betrayals that occur among the engaged and newly married. These affairs sabotage young budding relationships before they have the time to deepen and mature. When any type of affair occurs early in an untested marriage, it can be fatal. There is often not enough of a foundation or a history together to recover.
WHAT’S DONE IN THE DARK: Affair-Proofing and Recovery from Infidelity-A Self Help Guide for Couples (2017) focuses upon prevention and affair-proofing a marriage. It helps couples deepen their relationship as well as recognize the warning signs and boundary violations that precede infidelity.
If you are an engaged or young married couple, this book could help you protect your marriage and avoid a lifetime of heartache and pain. If you are the parent of an engaged or newly married young adult, this book may help your adult children navigate through the difficult years of establishing a solid, committed marriage that is ultimately affair-proof.
For more information, go to www.whatsdoneinthedark.org